Vomit

SERIOUSLY CONCERNED: CHEETAH ROBOT

Mad scientists Researchers at MIT are apparently on a mission to destroy humanity because they are developing a cheetah-like robot that will eventually run at speeds of up to 30 mph. For reference, that’s faster than record-holding sprinter Usain Bolt. Key to the machine’s speed is an algorithm that controls the amount of force exerted by each leg of the robot as it hits the ground. The faster the speed, the more force must be applied to propel the robot forward. Not only is the cheetah robot fast, but it can even jump over obstacles, ensuring that when Skynet goes live we won’t stand a chance.

The project is being funded by the military branch DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) for god knows what reason so I’m going straight to work on my bunker.

PUKE, EVERYWHERE.

Six Flags is building a “4D” thrill ride dubbed “Batman: The Ride” (aka The Vomit-Inducer), inspired by the franchise. The ride includes 90-degree drops, 360-degree spins, and has been described by the park as the “most exciting thrill ride” in its history. Holy hell Batman, what were they thinking? Scheduled to open summer 2015 in San Antonio, Texas.