BUFFOONERY

FOR THE WINOS

Trekkies rejoice! Release your inner Klingon with their famed drink of choice–bloodwine–now available on planet Earth. Typically made from fermented blood and sugar and renowned for its highly intoxicating properties, this version has been tailored to suit a much wider audience.

“Klingon Bloodwine is a wine traditionally consumed in celebration and victory. Whether drunk while reveling in triumph or simply enjoying life among friends, this could be the finest vintage of Klingon Bloodwine until 2309. Traditionally twice as strong as whiskey and best served warm, this sanguine version of Bloodwine is more human-friendly at 13% ABV and can be served slightly chilled or at cellar temperature (60-65 F)”.

Get yours here and make Warf proud.

A HEAVY METAL HOLIDAY

Get yourself in the Christmas spirit with the help of Saruman himself, actor Christopher Lee. At 92, Lee has recently released a metal version of the classic Christmas song, “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” now retitled “Darkest Carols, Faithful Sing.” Some of Lee’s former releases include “Jingle Hell” and “Silent Night”. Have a listen to Lee one-horse-open-SLAY IT.

SURVIVE THIS INTERACTIVE ZOMBIE FILM

The interactive short film “Five Minutes”, created by film students Maximilian Niemann and Felix Faißtwill will put you on the edge of your seat as you perform a series of tasks to prevent the game’s protagonist “John” from turning all zombie on your ass. After a battle with the living dead, John may have been infected with the zombie virus and must retain his memory for 5 minutes to ensure he doesn’t turn. It’s your job to complete simple cursor tasks to propel the storyline forward and prevent John from meeting an ugly demise.

Check out the game at fiveminutes.gs

FLUX CAPACITOR DOUBLES AS USB CHARGER

ThinkGeek recently released the invention of the century when it came to their attention we don’t need a separate flux capacitor and USB charger. Travel back a week in time and impress friends with your new iPhone 6 (ooh ahh) by picking up the 2-in-1 time machine-phone charger COMBO here.

TOTAL BUZZ KILL

Here’s a video of a group of wasps that decided to settle down and build a nest on YouTuber Vang Tsal’s window. A rare peak into the world of a wasp colony to be sure but why don’t you put down that camera and prep the frickin’ home-made flame thrower.

CHINA INTRODUCES SMARTPHONE SIDEWALK LANE

The Chinese city of Chongqing has created a sidewalk lane to separate smartphone-using walkers from those that prefer not to have a legitimate excuse to bump in to babes. The city created their 50 meter sidewalk in order to remind people that using their smartphone while walking can be dangerous (or hilarious, as demonstrated in this oldie but goodie fail compilation video).

If they were serious about the problem they’d dig a deep pit at the end of the walkway. Problem solved.

STAR [TREK] SATURDAY: WASTE AWAY YOUR WEEKEND

Every Saturday we’ll post a satirical or non-sensical piece on anything Star [Insert Anything] related: Star [Trek], [Wars], [Fox]….you get the picture. Waste away your weekend with this pixelated Star Trek game. Explore the USS Enterprise as Data. That pretty much sums it up. 

Click HERE and beam up the game.

SPACE WHISKEY

Whiskey producer Ardbeg is about to wrap up a little known experience that began in 2011 when the company partnered with US based space research group NanoRacks to mature their whiskey in the micro-gravity environment of space. The space-whiskey has been orbiting the planet at 17,227 miles per hour for the last 3 years and is about to make its way back to solid ground on September 12th, 2014, when some lucky SOBs a team of “researchers” will begin studying the affects of micro-gravity on the maturation process.

According to the company, “It will be the team’s task to proceed to unlock the mysteries of maturation, through the study of the interaction between Ardbeg-crafted molecules and charred oak.” I’m officially setting up a petition to be on that team. I know all about mysteries. And maturation. Just check out the growing boil on my face. I’m not sure why it’s there. That, is a mystery. 

EVOLUTION OF THE DESK

Remember the clutter of the ‘good ole days’ when a functional desk wasn’t complete without a dictionary, calculator, and a handy rolodex? Me either (“Spelling Bee Champion ’90” don’t need no dictionary), but this video should refresh our memories.  Watch as the folks at the Harvard Innovation Lab demonstrate the transformative power that technology has provided over the past 35 years. 

Catch the vid here.